Self-Centeredness! When’s the last time you heard someone say they struggled with being self-centered and bemoaned its presence in their life? Most likely never! Self-Centeredness isn’t a sin or struggle we tend to notice in ourselves. It has a knack for laying low and disguising itself well. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t present and producing damaging effects in our lives.

When a person is self-centered it has devastating consequences on his life. These consequences are often not seen or felt until it is too late. It threatens your intimacy with others, your development as a person, and your effectiveness in work and ministry. As if that isn’t enough, it also disrupts your relationship with the Lord. So yeah, this an important topic and deserves our full attention.

So let me ask you: Are you self-centered?

Don’t be so quick to assume you aren’t! Consider the following statements to see if you are self-centered:

• Are you more likely to serve others when there is something in it for you?
• Do you serve with a bad attitude when there isn’t anything in it for you?
• Can you allow others to receive praise for the things they’ve accomplished? What about when you helped them do it?
• Do you feel the need to remind others of what you’ve accomplished or done?
• Do you belittle the challenges and suffering of others? Maybe because you feel you have endured far worse?

Self-Centeredness Is A Matter Of The Heart

Some might wonder: If self-centeredness is so hidden, why does it matter if we are dealing with it? The reality is this, all of us have self-centeredness in our hearts to some degree. But, that should not cause us to justify its presence or relent in uprooting it.

Self-centeredness is antithetical to the character and command of Christ. It is a destructive root that will harden your heart and cause your love to grow cold towards others.

This is because love for self is at the root of self-centeredness.

Self-centeredness can be very difficult to detect because it can masquerade as love for others, while really focusing on its own benefits. On the other hand, selfishness is far easier to spot. The selfish person openly won’t do anything for others. But the self-centered person will serve others. However, he secretly only does it because of the benefit they receive. This benefit may come in many forms. It could be appreciation, applause, financial gain, or simply fulfilling their desire to be needed.

The bottom line is this: There are many reasons why self-centered people do what they do, and it usually isn’t the reason they say it is.

Staring The Problem Of Self-Centeredness In The Face

For Christians, the danger of becoming self-centered is greater than for others. We are placed in a church culture that emphasizes service and rewards it. While service is good, Christians can also learn the right lingo and adjust to the church culture without ever changing their heart. Just because one knows what to say and how to act as a believer doesn’t mean he has proper motives.

The person serving from a self-centered motive unknowingly allows their heart to grow cold towards the true needs of those around them. If left uncorrected, they can lose the ability to have compassion for others and love as Jesus loves.

Self-centeredness is a particularly dangerous trap for missionaries. They are expected to serve and report of their service to their supporters back home. This creates a ripe soil for the seeds of self-centeredness to grow if they aren’t careful.

When missionaries report on their “successes” on the field, they are often rewarded with financial support and recognition for their “sacrifice”. Overtime, the people they went to serve in a foreign land can unintentionally become a means to an end… maintaining their financial support. While few would admit their guilt in such matters, I’ve seen and felt the reality of it all too often.

Like the time half of our community was flooded from torrential rains. As a result, dozens of families were displaced from their homes. With nowhere to go, the local schools opened their doors and classrooms so these families would have a place to stay. It was an opportunity for local churches and missionaries to respond to the call to serve. What I saw next saddened me. Missionaries began pulling out their phones and cameras to snap pictures of the displaced families.

Let that sink in… missionaries began pulling out their phones and cameras to snap pictures of the displaced families.

Here were families who had lost everything overnight. Yet the missionaries felt the need to take the opportunity to “show their supporters back home” the ways they were sharing the gospel with these families. In that moment, they lacked compassion for what those families must have been feeling and experiencing. It wasn’t one of the church’s finest moments.

As I looked back upon this incident, I had to wonder: Who are we serving here? The displaced families or ourselves?

I’m not judging the motives of others and I’m not saying it’s wrong to take pictures of your ministry work. I am saying our self-centered needs often take priority, causing missions and ministry to become dangerously close to another way the rich exploit the poor.

When the gospel was needed most, self-centeredness was ready to capitalize on the moment!

Why We Must Resist Being Self-Centered

Self-centeredness takes many forms and is seen in many subtle ways. If you don’t examine your heart carefully, it will go undetected, eroding your integrity. You and I must be on guard against this destructive force.

We are called to take up our cross and die to self DAILY! This is the way of Jesus and it is the way He has invited us to follow him.

There is no other path.

If we are going to follow Jesus, we must take up our cross.

This is the only way to destroy the destructive power of self-centeredness! It must be crucified so that Jesus can live in its place!

Yes, the path is painful at times, but it will bear the beautiful fruit of Christ-likeness in your life; producing selflessness and compassion as you consider the needs of others above your own.

This is a blessed path and one worth pursuing with all your heart. Only then can you be effective for Christ in fulfilling the Great Commission.

Take Action

Don’t allow self-centeredness to dwell in your heart and pervert your motives. You and I have been called to so much more! We are called to represent Christ on this earth. Let’s embrace this call, take up our cross, and allow His true nature to be revealed through our lives, to a world desperately in need of Him.

How have you seen self-centeredness in your life? How has it impacted you? What can you do to overcome it? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment!

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