I struggle with something. But I’m not alone. Most men struggle with the same thing… We struggle with busyness. Do, do, do, do… we are always doing something! We hold time and money in the highest regard. We crave efficiency, by which we can make more money using less time and energy. After all, “Time IS Money!” we say. This mentality is in the very fabric of our culture. It is seemingly part of our DNA. But it has a deadly side effect, it’s killing our relationships!

The Bible has a lot to say about success, money, and efficiency. They are necessary aspects of a thriving economy and culture. But when they lose their proper place and we idolize them, bad things happen. Unfortunately, it’s usually too late before we recognize the nasty side effects associated with busyness and pursuing success at all cost.

The reality is that time is so much more than just money… Time is LIFE!

It is the sphere in which life happens. When our time is up, so is our life. When that day comes, what will happen to the pile of money we worked for? Will someone read our financial reports at our funeral to describe a life well lived?… I don’t think so. On that day, what will matter most is the legacy we leave behind. Yes, ministries and businesses are legacies that we hope to have an impact with, but I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about relationships with the people we loved and cared about most.

The Cost of Busyness

I’ve noticed an interesting pattern in our culture from an unlikely source… vacations and mission trips. When a person returns from vacation or a mission trip people will ask them “WHAT did you DO?”. But in many other cultures, they will ask “WHO did you meet?”. Why this difference? Because Americans tend to value work and accomplishment above all. While many other cultures value their relationships most… meeting new people and creating lasting memories together. I’m not saying they’re better than us, but we can learn a valuable lesson from them. We can learn the cost of busyness and the negative impact it has on our relationships. While busyness is great for productivity, it is bad for intimacy.

In fact, busyness kills intimacy. If your relationship sucks, it could simply be because you’re TOO BUSY!

Busyness prevents us from taking the time to go deeper in our relationships. As a result, our relationships suffer and so do we. Because we value productivity so highly, we can easily justify our busyness, even when it produces less than ideal relationships. Not only can we do this with one another, but it can carry over into our relationship with the Lord also.

This stood out while I was talking to a visitor at church. He was close to retirement age and said something profound. He said…

“I’ve spent my whole life working and acquiring wealth, houses, cars and boats. I have all of it. But what you have here, your family and kids… I’m learning that is what’s most important!”

A Simple Way To Make Your Relationship Better, FAST…

Busyness… many of us struggle with it, especially me. What’s the cure? You need to give ourselves permission to slow down, to invest in one another and to spend time with the Lord each day.

You must ruthlessly evaluate what you spend your time doing and WHY you’re doing it.

• Do you find value in your accomplishments?
• Are you trying to keep up with those around you, comparing your life with theirs?
• Do you have FOMO, believing the lie that you’ll have an inferior life if you slow down?

Whatever the reason is, it’s probably not as good as you believe it is. You need to ask Jesus to help you make radical changes in this area. To help you be ok with slowing down, doing less, and loving well. People are busy because they find purpose and joy in “doing”. But the joy that comes from investing in deep, lasting relationships will be one of the greatest joys you will ever know. Like John said…

…that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full. 1 John 1:3-4 (NKJV)

Like I said earlier, busyness kills intimacy. If you want to improve your relationship, look at your calendar first. Are you spending enough meaningful time with her each day? Are you connecting and showing her how much you value her? Make the small changes necessary to start spending more meaningful time together, even just 20-30 more minutes each day, and your relationship will get better fast!

Do you struggle with busyness? How is it affecting your relationships? What will you do to change that today?

Take Action

Did you find this post helpful?